Well, I've made it through 20 more minutes and am now at the 2 hour countdown point, so progress was made. I had to disappear for awhile just to stand it. There is a place that I go where nobody else goes, so I can be alone for a few blessed moments.
My mother always said don't wish your life away, so I really do work to enjoy every moment of every day, as much as possible. Some days though my tolerance is low. Or maybe it is when I see through the story I tell myself that I am okay doing this, and realize there are so many things I'd rather be doing. But I am disciplined, and I gave up pining for that years ago because all it does it hurt me when I indulge it.
I'm much better when the noise from the other room stops and it is quieter and I can focus without having someone else's voice intrude upon my peace. But that is not happening so what is the way I can find right now to block that out and pull the beauty of my own thoughts around me, like a warm blanket, and know that even when I can't be where I want to be, I can still be who I am at heart?