Each of us needs a sanctuary, a safe place to go to where we can sigh with relief that we made it back one more time. We are safe and can relax. Even if there is a shitstorm raging outside, for the time we are in the sanctuary, we can let that go and just be.
Home, that sanctuary, has always been important to me. As a consequence, I have lived within my means, had a plan for the future, and protected myself from the decisions of others lest those have a negative effect on my beloved sanctuary. At times I have felt a bit of guilt that this part of me is a default, especially when in a relationship where decisions are, theoretically, joint ones. Still, I would quietly considered at those times, if I was suddenly on my own, could I manage this on my income? If the answer was no, I wouldn't do it.
In the past few months, my life changed drastically, but I held onto my sanctuary. Tonight I feel as one should feel in sanctuary - relaxed and at peace. And I am committed to always providing this safe space for myself.
I share these thoughts today because everyone needs to be realistic about their future when making plans. Take it from me, every one of us will, if we remain alive, get to retirement. Have a plan, my friends. Get whole life insurance while you are young and keep it. Save. Invest carefully. Don't spend everything you make. If "found money" comes your way - an inheritance, gift, prize, or other windfall - put it into something safe for your future. Pretend you don't have it and let it go to work for you. Then "find" it again, in the future, when it can make your life easier at a time when your income will go down.
Sanctuary. Find one. Build one. Protect it. And don't risk it for anyone. Nobody is worth finding yourself with nowhere to go because you gave another person custody of your sanctuary.