Thursday, April 22, 2010

Being Dangerous

One of the gifts of this new life is that I am discovering what it means to be dangerous. Now that I am not bound by agreements and promises to another, I have complete freedom. I'd forgotten how sweet that can be.

12 years ago, I was a single woman, loving my life, perfectly content in my home, with my 3 darling cats. Then a relationship unfolded in May of that year, and I had to decide whether I was willing to give up that freedom. I chose to take a chance on love.

In the past months, I've come to hold dear that I don't regret my life these past 12 years at all. It was the best relationship I've had. I was the best partner that I've ever been. Much good came from it.

And now I am single again, and I am growing into that role every day, coming to appreciate my autonomy. Realizing that just as I chose 12 years ago to partner, I have a choice today to embrace singularity. And I choose to take a chance on loving myself.

I choose to be happy and embrace everything about this. It is becoming precious to me in a very sweet way. As I work through the remnants of grief for what was, the cloak of what is comforts me in old/new ways.

Singularity: "the quality of being one of a kind; strangeness by virtue of being remarkable or unusual"

(defintion from wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn)

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