Because it is with me. Today is a lovely day. The past few days have marked some kind of turning point in my journey. I feel content and happy, and have felt that way for a few days. The ache was absent much of the time. I feel hopeful again. Not so afraid. I believe I will make it and that the way is coming into view.
I also am seeing that this life change is turning out to be good for me. I am different now. I have regained parts of myself that had gone dormant, and discarded parts of me that weren't serving me. It's so strange to be saying yes, I want this, but I do.
Today I would not go back to what I had. I could not have said that a week ago. I can say it now.